A woman is open, honest, kind and bubbly...and she enjoys the company of men equally as much as her female friends.... yet some men see this as a 'come on'...why?
This question has arisen this week and consequently an open and honest debate has ensued at my house this evening...thankfully, you will be pleased to hear not with the Hobbits.
If a man is open and honest about any subject that you can care to think about - he is seen as modern man...a bit of a holy grail....but a woman, who knows her own mind and clearly knows what she likes and wants, is seen as potentially someone who is too independent; slightly intimidating and for others is seen as an opportunity...
...and not always in a good way.
Don't get me wrong - I would advocate honesty over anything and having a man that is equally as honest and kind is truly something to hold onto...J will tell you that.
So what am I trying to say here...clearly something is playing on my mind.
Hmm...well I have had the pleasure (ahem) of a few different dates recently...and conversations with a few different men. Some, read my blog...some don't. Some have known me for sometime and know who I am, what I believe in etc - whilst others have made assumptions and judgements...often wrongly.
However I can not control what people think or indeed feel about me. On the surface I can pretend to be the person who they want me to be, but for those who take the time to find out - there is more going on underneath than simply a conversational blog about vibrators.
Underneath is what is important - not my take on the latest sex toy...if that is the only thing that interests you about me, then you are missing out on my latest opinion of current affairs or indeed my inner most fears and thoughts, essentially getting to know me and I you...does that make sense?
I wouldn't want a male companion who didn't care about those things, who considers that those surface conversations are relevant - cos they truly aren't. Having a discussion about sex with someone doesn't mean that I am game...or indeed available; please don't make that assumption about me.
It just means that I am happy to talk about things in a general way - but trust me, there is far more to learn if you bother to take the time.
Thankfully where some men can not be bothered to take a closer look, there are men out there who will...as I am beginning to find out finally...so Pootle, there may just be a glimmer of hope for us after all...
I am not sure if when a woman is open and talks about all subjects that you are perceived as too independent. I feel it is more about the energy you give off, it is a masculine energy.
ReplyDeleteWomen seem to forget that us men want to be the masculine person in a relationship and when a woman gives off a masculine energy we assume they have no need for a partner so you are either placed in the friend zone or as an easy conquest.
Most men want an independent woman but one who gives off a feminine energy, who sends out the energy that she needs and wants a masculine force in her life.
I don't want to date one of the boys.
I appreciate the fact that you took the time to comment on my blog - everyone has an opinion. However, I feel that you essentially missed the point of the blog.
DeleteIf an independent female emasculates you, then that is something that is more your issue than hers. Everyone finds their partner in life, and everyone is different...I would want an equal to me, neither a dominant nor a submissive be...
Nevertheless, my blog was about how some choose not to bother to see what is underneath, and presume that the banter (ie. the facade) is the truth. Just because I make my decisions about how I run my life, that I have an opinion doesn't mean that I am more masculine than you...or indeed that I wouldn't enjoy being cared for by a man.
I acknowledge that it would take a strong, confident man to share a life with me...but that doesn't make me a bad person, and equally doesn't make you weak for wanting someone who is less independent.
It just makes us different.
A blog is a window on the life and thoughts of the blogger. It doesn’t necessarily show the balance you’d find as you get to know them. Maybe an analogy is the iceberg, where only one ninth is visible to the public. Eight ninths remains hidden beneath the water.
ReplyDeleteTo judge a person by their blog would be like judging world current affairs from reading headlines printed in a tabloid newspaper. In common with sensational journalism, the blog is intended to entertain, educate and promote thought as well as an outlet for the blogger. That doesn’t happen by writing about a shopping list or the colour of today’s nail varnish.
Wondering woman runs a home, brings up the hobbits and has a career. That should be applauded. The rewards of taking the time to form a relationship with a strong woman, an equal, are immeasurable.
If a strong woman is a daunting prospect best stay with girls.
Penultimate
If only more were like you. X
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